Last week we learned that US Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte likes to add his own special water treatment to the pool. Now he has taken to Funny or Die to set his critics straight and explain how we can all go for the gold.
Lochte gives us a brief history of the steps that led him to poolside piss-play, and addresses his post-London plans, including possibly picking up a winter sport involving yellow snow.
And his message to all the kids out there looking to be a public pisser like himself? There is a line that must never be crossed: Peeing in the pool - good. Pooping in the pool - bad. That just ruins it for everyone.
So go ahead, America. Relax and relieve yourself with patriotic pride.