John M. Becker

Abzorbaloffs & Slavemasters: The Gay Agenda, Revealed

Filed By John M. Becker | August 26, 2013 4:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Fundie Watch
Tags: Abzorbaloff, Alan Keyes, David Usher, delusions, Doctor Who, economic enslavement, enslavement, gay marriage, Linda Harvey, marriage equality, same-sex marriage, slavery

blame_the_gays.jpgI don't know about you, but I sometimes get a kick out of some of the crazy stuff the right wing likes to say about Teh Gay. We've been blamed for everything from Superstorm Sandy to mass bird die-offs to the demise of Olympic wrestling, and it can be quite amusing to watch homophobes twist themselves into logistical pretzels in order to make their case.

With LGBT equality and social acceptance surging forward at a dizzying pace and anti-gay zealots finding themselves unable to cope with a rapidly changing world, increasingly relegated to the extreme fringes of society, and unhappy with their newfound isolation, cockamamie claims about gays are coming fast and furious these days.

As such, I normally don't bother sharing them with you, dear readers -- you have better things to do. However, the following two anti-gay distortions are so outlandish that I just can't resist passing them along. You won't believe what they've cooked up now!

Check it out, after the jump.

First, we have David R. Usher. He's the president of a group called the Center for Marriage Policy, an affiliate of Alan Keyes's group Renew America. In a column last week, Usher hysterically warned that nationwide marriage equality will -- among other things -- allow lesbians to trick gay men into fathering their children and economically enslave them. Seriously.

Right Wing Watch reports:

Usher argues that if same-sex marriage is legal then women will marry other women and have children with men "by pretending they are using birth control when they are not." "Entrapped men become economically-conscripted third parties to these marriages," Usher writes, adding that women will also turn to the state for welfare benefits. Good heterosexual couples will be left "economically-disadvantaged" because they will be taxed to support the lesbian couples' Big Government goodies.

But that's not all: Usher then explains that gay men will have it the worst of all as they will be tricked into having sex with lesbians through "reproductive entrapment," fathering their kids, and then paying child support to support them: "Marriages between two men are destined to be the marital underclass. In most cases, these men will become un-consenting 'fathers' by reproductive entrapment. Men in male-male marriages who become fathers by deceptive means will be forced to pay child support to women in bi-maternal marriages, and become economically enslaved" to lesbian unions.

"Men will be forced to labor for the economic benefit of marriages between women - marriages men have been 'redlined' out of - by the choice of two women who married with intention to have children by men outside the marriage," Usher writes. "This approaches the definition of slavery - and perhaps sexual trafficking or bondage."

Lesbians, the jig is up. Now we know that you're all man-haters who want to enslave men for your reproductive purposes and bleed gays dry through child support payments, so you might as well stop trying to get married now. (For the record: sarcasm.)

Right behind Usher on the crazy train is good ol' hate group leader Linda Harvey. This crackpot is convinced that gays and lesbians are actually just hollow shells roaming the earth in search of identities and personalities:

"Those who have left homosexuality," Harvey said, talk about how "they've once felt empty" and as a result want "to absorb the personality and identity of another person, even someone of the same sex because the vacant feeling inside is so great."

"When others seem to have meaning and purpose, the feelings of self-pity can be overwhelming," she continued.

Sorry, Linda, but whatever you think of gays and lesbians, we can hardly be accused of having nothing to offer in the personality department. And maybe it's just me, but Harvey's wild and crazy fantasies sound an awful lot like a bigot's version of the Abzorbaloff (pictured below), a nightmarish alien sci-fi creature who absorbs other living beings -- including their memories and consciousnesses -- into its body with a single touch.

Perhaps the feverishly delusional Ms. Harvey has been watching just a little too much Doctor Who these days?

Be very afraid, gays. You may have fooled the rest of the nation, but Linda Harvey and David Usher see you for what you really are.

"Blame the Gays" meme via

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